Bijuu Battle Discussion Thread.

[Kalix Terumi (Wuwu)Citizen]

If there is a problem or a question that needs to be looked at about the bijuu battles while the battles are taking place this is the thread to do it in. This will be for all four battles, it might get a little messy, but it shouldn't be a problem.

[DracoCitizen]

Bumped so that it is with the other topics

[Shouten AtaenushiCitizen]

{3-Tails vs Fai}


1st strike till post void;

the illuminating sun piercing through such clouds however as it's heat serves to strip the water from the clouds making it so no storm does truly occur naturally.

The clouds had finally rolled in as the sun was muffled, something Fai had expected to happen.

Outright contradiction of what was stated, I state the sun is clearly piercing through the clouds, yet you say it is "muffled".

muffled - being or made softer or less loud or clear; "the dull boom of distant breaking waves"; "muffled drums"; "the muffled noises of the street"; "muted trumpets".

Muffled is also not the proper word for the scenario but I am pretty sure I get what ya mean, either way the clouds are not blocking the sun and it is piercing straight through them and illuminating the area.

Go fix the first paragraph and we will continue.

[Rokuro MasamuneMissing-Nin (C-rank)]

Sorry for that small problem...kinda derped there but i fixed it and it should be more fitting of the current setting

[Shouten AtaenushiCitizen]

Just let me know when and I'll delete the stopping post and we can continue from there.
Just a little advice, do not rush to post, take the time to read over it, and the former moves to make sure all your detail is solid, I would hate for you to get a void death from a Bijuu.

[Rokuro MasamuneMissing-Nin (C-rank)]

i fixed it and yea i understand, but lets have some good fun

[Shouten AtaenushiCitizen]

1.) Try and type in present tense instead of future, "Fai begins to move" being correct opposed to, "Fai would begin to move". Meaning you would do it, but you didn't for some reason.
That there could of triggered a void but idgaf, just letting ya know for the future since the wording is weird.

2.)

Fai would begin to move, his speed becoming a blur as he moved a total distance of ten towards the turtle when it had apparently saw him and let out a large roar.

Ten what?

3.)

Fai would reach into his sleeves quickly and chuck two of the rods into the ground 10 meters in front of the beast, preparing for the next move.

This has a slight issue mostly due to number two since we do not know where you are.

4.) Pointing out, if you run forward a full 10 meters which is the distance between you two, then your gonna be under the turtle and unable to successfully make the lightning hit both sides since you only moved once and have no manipulation over the lightning.

[Rokuro MasamuneMissing-Nin (C-rank)]

See i knew i had my distance right the first time...i had basically second guessed my self on the distance between me and the Sanbi which was not only a total fuck up on my part but a huge mistake. Also i often have the habit of using the wrong words to describe things and i see what you mean.

if you want me to edit then i will but if not then yeaa, also i was aware of that little part with the lightning on both sides, but considering the large mass of the Bijuu it would at least graze it even without me controlling it.

[Shouten AtaenushiCitizen]

Go ahead and repost to fix it up, this way I know what to respond to haha

[Rokuro MasamuneMissing-Nin (C-rank)]

alright i gotcha...next time i need to not second guess myself but thanks for letting me repost

okay fixed it and now it should be better