A Wholly Unremarkable Meeting

The bored man walked down an empty road with his hands in his pockets. He had small bags under his eyes as he slowly managed to put one foot in front of the other. The dark clothing he stubbornly continued to wear did not suit this climate, and the scenery didn't either. Compared to the golden sand, his flowing black jacket probably looked ridiculous. 

What a long time it had been for such a remarkable man to appear with such a sudden, unremarkable introduction.  

Or perhaps it was premature to say so, but after such a long time away, it was hard to say much for certain. What was certain that this desolate landscape was far from the chaotic cesspool of disaster he used to call home. By contrast, it was actually quite warm and inviting. Especially the warm part. Goddamn it had been hot. The hot sand was uncomfortable to the touch, and there seemed little in the way of shade anywhere nearby. What about the inviting part? Well there was quite a beautiful sunset coming on, and the orange rays cast upon the golden sand with a gorgeous and brilliant glow. It did seem quite devoid of people though, which as the reader will note makes it very difficult to have a meeting as the title suggests. For the time being however, he was quite alone. 

Why was he here? 

People like him tended to wander. A bleak outlook on life, no real convictions, no feelings of loyalty... these types of people tended to simply explore. This man in particular was also psychotic, and his desire to see the world burn was complimented by a misguided ideal to save it. Regardless of how misguided it was, it was also stable, and so was the man. In fact, the man could even be considered happy... or as happy as he could remember being. Walking upon a desolate landscape without a soul in sight brought with it a relaxing calmness that made him almost even possibly maybe seriously consider slightly smiling. He didn't though, and it was doubtful that anyone would ever make him actually do it. What was even more doubtful was that he would run into anyone interesting on this empty and pointless road. That was nice though, a pointless and aimless walk along a beautiful landscape. It's hard not to enjoy such an engagement. If he did run into anyone, perhaps he would have to destroy them, ripping their souls from their bodies so he could maintain the beauty of how empty and desolate this place was. Or perhaps he would just have a chat with them, and the meeting would turn out to be wholly unremarkable.

There was solace in the kind of loneliness that enveloped Akihana as she made her way deeper into the desert, having left the teeming town of Hoshigakure behind hours before sunset. Not too long ago there would have been parties of soldiers beside her, all on the same fool's errand as her but as the weeks went by, the faith of the people started waning as well. Perhaps no one had found this mysterious hero water because it didn't exist? Perhaps Akihana was simply fooling herself, trapped in the illusion of doing something as opposed to sitting in prayer like many of the members of the royal counsel had decided to.

Perhaps she simply found it liberating that out here, she was no one. She wasn't "mommy" and she certainly wasn't "Your Grace". She was neither the kindly doctor nor the cheerful baker. Out here, there were no tears to wipe, no scraped knees to bandage, no internal riots to break up and no affronted diplomats to assuage. As the sun sank in brilliant shades of gold and orange and pink into the fine powdery sands, it simply sank on an unremarkable young woman, turning her corn silk golden hair radiant for but a brief moment in time. Her golden eyes scanned the horizon, empty as expected, or at least it would have been had this been any other day.

The speck of darkness appeared as a shadow at first, but as soft golden eyes narrowed in its direction, the shadow quickly transformed into an outline. A visitor this far out usually meant a pilgrim lost on his or her way to the City Blessed by the Stars but if this person was lost, he certainly didn't seem worried.

Time to be someone, the medic noted, smoothing down the simple pink dress she wore. It was always best to wear light clothing in this weather, even the cloak she wore was made out of light, white material. With the wind tugging her long, loose golden hair slightly, the kunoichi set out towards the stranger, a soft smile on her lips.

"Good morrow," she called out, waving to catch his attention and trying not to sneak up on the stranger. The closer they were the to the edge of night, the more dangerous the desert would become and Akihana wanted to establish herself as an ally before the cloak of darkness covered the sands. "Are you lost? Could I be of some help?"

The setting sun was breath taking, and as the sun began to become swallowed up by the desolate land, the man let out a weary sigh. It had been some time since he had done nothing at all. Before he had always been experimenting on creatures, slaughtering intruders and destroying a village or two. Now he had time to depart and simply wander aimlessly. The pointlessness of the journey was enjoyable, and the emptiness of the road gave the man contentedness. The only thing that could ruin his now peaceful state of mind would be a- "Good morrow" ...

Person in a pink dress and white cloak with golden hair. Unfortunately, this exact person would seem to approach, which dampened his mood considerably. Not that the man would show it, his emotionless face betrayed nothing but a slightly uncomfortable and blank stare. Admittedly, he had been caught off guard, having been distracted with a wandering body and mind in a haze. Somewhat embarrassing too, considering the approaching kunoichi's attire made it obvious that every effort was being made to make it clear of her approach. 

Why did she have to show up? You know what a great number is? Zero! It was a perfectly fine and empty place until she came, and now its all ruined! You can't have zero others with one other! What's worse was that killing her would litter the beautiful landscape with a corpse wearing pink and white! It would stick out, and the contrast would just look absurd. Plus she was a shinobi, which means killing her would bring MORE shinobi, which means there would be even more corpses on this gorgeous landscape. What's worse, none of the numbers above one are zero either! What an annoying problem. 

At this point, Sayomi had been blankly staring and saying nothing for several seconds. 

"Are you lost?" 


Well he was lost. He had liked it that way. It was nice being lost, because you generally didn't have other people making sure you were found.

"Could I be of some help?"


Well she could be a great help if she went off and died somewhere away from him. Otherwise this pink dressed and polite shinobi was rather off putting. The gall for any shinobi to approach like that seemed odd, especially with such a chakra level. His experienced gaze analyzed her quickly, it was clear her tenketsu had seen considerable use. Undoubtedly a user of several elements, and a master of a wide array of jutsu, her body also seemed as if it was conditioned to move at high speeds. Gah! Maybe a Jounin or even a village leader? At least in volcano people would try and stab you first, they'd give a reason to obliterate them. It seemed in poor taste to strike at someone who approached in a polite and carefree way. 

The man frowns slightly. "No, I prefer to be lost actually."

He continues walking, albeit rather slowly, hoping that maybe she is just a mirage that occurs right before night comes. In case he isn't suffering from sleep deprivation, and perhaps by way of insurance, he quickly adds another remark. 

"I'm just a wanderer these days, its been some time since I've been an active part in this world."

Perhaps if the woman drew closer and recognized him as the man he was, there would be trouble. However, he was still in quite a lax state, and the idea of having to spill blood on such a landscape annoyed him. With any luck, it would just turn out to be a wholly unremarkable meeting.

"No, I prefer to be lost actually."

The individual Akihana had originally thought was a pilgrim turned out to be a lot more as she neared him, her chakra sensory picking up a reserve that either rivaled or superseded her own much muted chakra nature. There was no exact science to prove or disprove her theory but as a sensor, Akihana knew the chakra signature of people sometimes aligned with personality. When she had first mentioned it as a young girl in Konoha however, her sister her jabbed her sharply, telling her off for messing around in pseudo sciences instead of focusing on practical, log-able work.

Still, the blonde knew her own chakra signature and it acted much like she did, bashful at the forefront, more competent behind the scenes. Akihana couldn't extend the same curtest to the dark stranger though, not able to justify just leaving him out here merely because he gave off the impression of being able to look after himself well enough. If that was a good enough reason to leave people alone.... the world would be a much darker place.

"It gets quite cold at night," she mentioned, genuine concern softening her bright gold eyes. Many a wanderer didn't take the desert seriously until she came for them in the night. It was why the white cloak she wore was standard issue, anything to locate stragglers in the dark and on the verge of hypothermia and dehydration in the place they expected it least. "But if you prefer to stay lost, I have some food and water that can help you stay lost a little bit longer," she offered, the beginning of a smile blossoming on her pale, heart shaped face.

"I'm just a wanderer these days, its been some time since I've been an active part in this world."

The kunoichi nodded, a wanderer. it made sense then, he was hardly the first one she'd ran into, but the concern for him in her was still genuine. "That's a shame," she replied, a mere observation. She knew better than to ask why he was no longer a part of the world. He was however a part of her world now simply by virtue of having walked into it today. "I'm sure the world misses you. It's not such a bad place you know."

Her aim was to neither amuse not antagonize him, it was simply to ensure he was alright before he decided to be on his way. This enigmatic stranger with enough chakra to implode the world... and enough disappointment to make it rain in this barren desert. The last part wasn't due to any sensory, it was simply a feeling Akihana got from knowing people. It may well be wrong but to her, this tall, slender young man looked like the world had disappointed him too many times in the past.

There weren't other shinobi around, at least none that he could discern. This was good news, and it meant that there was only one other person that could possibly obstruct the view of this sunset. Why was there such an emphasis on this sunset? Well for one it was dying, and the man had always been fascinated with death in all the forms it took. For another thing, it meant that the approaching shinobi didn't intend to ambush him. Probably. Well, the ambush part definitely not, but you can never be sure when it comes to the diabolical motives of women in pink dresses.


"It gets quite cold at night"


This much would be obvious to anyone who had been in a desert. Despite this, the words would be welcoming to the wanderer, having been battered by the intense heat for the entire day. What would be far more welcoming would be the offer of food and water, one that would be immediately followed by a low grumbling noise from the stomach of the man. He hadn't eaten in awhile, and he felt a bit thirsty. She would probably poison him though, she seemed like the poisoning type. Not that there was anything wrong with that, this landscape would be a comfortable one to die upon. Unless the poison induced suffering or projectile vomiting. Both of those things would be positively uncomfortable to die of, regardless of scenery. The reader should take note of that valuable and reasonable advice before it is followed by some ridiculous statement.

"I'm sure the world misses you. It's-"


Like that. She probably said more then that, but it didn't matter. Those words alone induced a temporary deafness that would have made another man without such an empty soul laugh uproariously. Instead the words are met with a continued blank stare, the mind of the man recognizing the humor but being unable to process it. The world didn't miss people like him, it prayed for people like him to go missing. That was good though, a sign of someone who has done remarkable things. Sometimes hated people are the necessary ones, and the man accepted hatred upon his soul without burden. It was liberating to be hated, a sort of confirmation that you were important. 

"Yes." 

The man spoke the word softly, and far after the woman was done speaking her part. He blinked a couple of times before adding in the qualifier:

"Any food or water you could be spare would be greatly appreciated." 

It was going to be poisoned. He could guarantee it, there was no doubt in his mind now. It was probably the disgusting projectile vomit poison too. She would turn out to be a member of the Black Ops from the Village Hidden in the Bumfucks. Probably specializing in assassination. Edible assassinations. She had cunningly snuck up on him wearing this pink dress in a completely barren landscape, and now she would draw a weapon in the form of a cake or bag of Doritos. Where would she even be hiding a cake on her person? Better question, how did she manage to sneak up on him with a bag of chips? Those things will wake up the entire neighborhood if you try to open them carefully at night. How did she manage to get the poison in without opening the bag? Black magic? S-rank demonic seals? Space-time jutsu? Definitely Space-time. Why didn't she just formulate the Space-Time jutsu to attack him normally instead of coming up with this ludicrous Pink-dressed, Dorito-poisoning bag assassination scheme? These were all good questions, but the man didn't choose to ask any of them. Instead, he asked a wholly unremarkable one. 

"May I ask who you are?"

"Any food or water you could be spare would be greatly appreciated."

His statement was no means unusual for someone who'd been wandering the treacherous deserts of the west and yet, the growl from his stomach that followed the stranger's admission caused her to look at the dark haired man with renewed concern. Did he have no food or water on him period? If so, how long was he expecting to just carry on like that? The blonde would have activated chakra vision to scan his person for necessities like food and water but that would be an unforgivable rudeness in her mind. After all, if he truly wanted to wonder this country hungry and thirsty, he had the right to.

She just hoped he saw the wisdom in taking shelter as night chased the sinking sun down into the golden sands.

"Very well," she smiled, hoping her optimism would leak out of her and into his blank expression. He reminded her in some ways of a newly hatched, just opening his mismatched eyes and finding the world an entirely bewildering experience, unsure if he liked it or not. And with that feeling came the instinct to protect him, unreasonable as it was. "This seems as good a place as any for a picnic? What do you think?" She would ask cheerfully, removing her white cloak to lay it on the sand. Once that was done, she would move to crouch down on her half of the cloak, knees tucked neatly underneath her and reach for a scroll she kept in her dress pocket. All her movements would be slow and relaxed, hoping to put him at ease and not startle him into an attack.

"I wasn't expecting company," she admitted as she opened the scroll to reveal her picnic basket. Keeping the now empty scroll aside, she would open the basket and begin taking out ham and cheese sandwiches, the kind she always packed for Arata and Arashi. Next, a box containing cut slices of cake would appear and finally, one large bottle of water and another of chaanch would sit beside the food on the makeshift picnic blanket. "But I always pack too much anyway. Never know when you'll meet someone in need of food out here," she explained, motioning for him to join her on the sand.

"May I ask who you are?"

"You certainly may," the kunoichi replied, golden eyes glowing softly with amusement. "I'm Akihana," she introduced herself, dividing the sandwiches between them and keeping the cake in the middle. "And I'm afraid I didn't really pack any cups, so if you're not comfortable with sharing a water bottle, just let me know which drink you'd prefer and I'll stay away from it." The medic didn't expand upon who she was. Out here, it really didn't matter. She could be any one of those cacti decorating the scene for all the difference it would make.

Who she was wasn't important in her mind, but her quest was. "I was out here looking for something..." she admitted, glaceing off into the distance for a moment, her expression turning rueful. "But I suppose I'll never find it. Good that I found you though. It's not safe out here all alone at night." Maybe if she subtly gave him a brief course in desert safety, he would rethink his strategy of staying lost.

"Very well,"


Poison confirmed. The man knew she'd say that, she was doing everything a poisoner would do. She was clearly a monster. A horrible monster that prayed upon the flesh of those who wandered the desert. The evidence was mounting up, and the inevitability of her attack was made clearer by the obvious signs of malicious intent. I don't need to point it out for you do I? You should be keenly aware that this woman is an abhorrent creature. No doubt at all. 

But even if she wasn't, that didn't matter. She was just gonna offer him a little bit of water anyway. Probably poisoned water. It's not like she was gonna lay out a picnic. 

"This seems like as good a place as any for a picnic? What do you think?"


Aha! See!?! The woman before him had practically confessed her desire to poison him right there! For any particularly dim-witted readers having trouble following along, take a moment to consider the previous evidence. Furthermore, if you take the word "picnic", replace some of the letters and move them around a little, you will get the word poison! It was almost insulting how obvious this assassin was making her ploys known. The man was onto her. 

The evil witch would withdraw a scroll from her person and produce both food and water, all of which looked suspiciously delicious. None of that mattered though. In fact, the man had a canteen tucked away in his jacket. He also had a few apples on his person, all of which were poisoned. The reader might ask why a man carried around only poisoned food through a desert, but that reader would only be exposing their unlimited stupidity. The reader might also consider it suspicious that the man carries around poisoned apples, but they should remember that this woman poisoned her food first. 

Anyway, while this was all being explained, the woman had introduced herself as Akihana. The man was certain from that name alone that she both loved vegetables and rain, but hated children. What a cruel monster this man had the misfortune of crossing paths with. 

Now then, while the man was busy sorting out all these rapidly proceeding developments, he had actually zoned out for a bit. Fortunately, due to his enormous intellect, he was able to tune in at just the right moments to understand the context of what was said to him.

"Afraid...not comfortable...no...you...stay away"


As the reader will note, all the relevant information is there. The witch was attempting to strike fear in his heart and cause him discomfort, followed by a warning to stay away. Of course, the man could not stay away. This was war now, and there was no running from the battlefield. He would come to sit down silently across from the woman on the picnic blanket.

"I was out here looking for something..."

Orphans to eat? Almost certainly. 

"But I suppose I'll never find it." 


Of course she wouldn't find them anymore. This place probably used to be a bustling city full of orphaned puppies before she came along to eat them all. Now its just a desolate wasteland. Her evil was truly boundless. Enough with these games! He would chime in with his own reply.

"Might I ask what you are looking for? Perhaps I could help you find it in exchange for this warm hospitality." 

It was true, the man was very good at finding things. Especially orphans, given an old friend's particular enjoyment of consuming their flesh. Never really understood why the dead parents thing made the flesh any tastier, perhaps this is just another one of the great mysteries of the universe.
Unless that particular dialogue was ignored or met with an otherwise limited reply, the conversation would proceed with the following line:


"Good that I found you though. It's not safe out here all alone at night."


Of course, its never safe to be alone in a desert with an orphan-eating, poison-witch. The man would play her game though, he had gotten this far. "Not safe for who?" he would inquire, carefully listening for any response she provided.

As the young man joined her on the cloak turned picnic blanket, Akihana was quite happy to lay out the food and drinks for him. The last thing she would ever want was for someone to get lost in the desert and starve or dehydrate - something she was almost sure he would have done had she not come across him. Akihana wasn't as pious as most of the resident of Hoshi but perhaps some paths were meant to cross. She wondered what the more religious members of the counsel would make of it. Not much, she supposed. She and this man certainly weren't making much of this unremarkable encounter.

"Might I ask what you are looking for? Perhaps I could help you find it in exchange for this warm hospitality."

the blonde shook her head, silk gold locks turning dark with the waning light of the setting sun. In a few moments, the first stars of the night would be out. "That's very kind of you to offer, but at this point, I'm not even sure if what I'm searching for exists," she admitted, unwrapping a sandwich and extending it towards him. Should he take it, she would continue, should he refuse, she would take a bite herself and chew before continuing to speak. "There's a town here, about a few hours journey west. I hail from there. It's not the largest city but it is the capital of this country - Haven Country," she explained, golden eyes now meeting his mismatched ones. She could certainly see the byakugan in its dormant state but continued exposure to it had made her treat it like simply another physical attribute. One of the first things a medic learned in training was not to act shocked or surprised as unusual body enhancements.

"This country is ruled by a royal family," she continued, gesturing for him to make himself comfortable and start eating if he had yet to do so. "And the current Queen, well, she's been very sick for a while now. We tried surgeries, medical ninjutsu, crystal healing, everything we could think of but now most of the city has resorted to prayer." It was true, even as the sun set on another day, bells would be ringing in Hoshi far away, various people in various voices praying to various Gods to grant their Queen health and longevity. Akihana could never be around them, not quite sure why she found the idea of simply praying useless. She had to be out, doing something more tangible, even if she failed.

"A while ago someone brought up a kind of miracle water. I'm sure you can understand how people try to cling to anything in desperate times. Until a month or so ago, there were soldiers, ninja and peasants combing these deserts alike trying to track down this miracle cure. But eventually their numbers dwindled." All except for her, but the kunoichi didn't say that out loud. This stranger probably thought her foolish, and he wouldn't be wrong. but a string of hope was better than non and though the young woman hadn't done anything remarkable in her life, she had always had faith. How could she fail a test of faith and hope, something she'd studied for all her life.

"So that's our story, what about yours? Why do you want to stay lost? Surely there's something worth being found for?"

"That's very kind of you to offer, but at this point, I'm not even sure if what I'm searching for exists,"


As I said, from the very beginning the man new she was a nice lady. There was no reason to doubt her kindheartedness and good intentions. The man listened and partook in some of the offerings on the picnic blanket, taking note of the town a short distance away. His heart was seized by the wrenching claim of the noble nation with queen that had fallen ill. The torrent of emotion would be displayed clearly to the woman by the way he stared emotionless, taking small bites with slow chewing. Let the reader take note of the man's limitless empathy, and clear display of support.

The lovely and good-intentioned dinner companion related the recent methods they tried in order to heal her, but ultimately fell back to prayer. The man didn't fully grasp or understand the importance of this queen, or the propensity of cultures to fall into prayer. Hoping really hard would never change an outcome, only action would. The man did understand that the well-being of someone important was being threatened, and that incited a clear emotional response, displayed clearly by a particularly slow chewing of the next bite of food.

"A while ago someone brought up a kind of miracle water..."

At first the man thought she was mentioning some sort of religious method, but realized that his concerned host was referring an artifact. He ignored her next few lines, save the last part, "something worth being found for". Perhaps something like this? Perhaps not, this meeting could turn out to be simply unremarkable. 

"If you would, please expand on the state of your current Queen and the hope regarding this miracle water."

He stopped eating for a moment and rested his chin on his wrist, paying close attention to the problem as it was presented to him. What a nice lady.

"If you would, please expand on the state of your current Queen and the hope regarding this miracle water."

"Well," she began, putting her half eaten sandwich down, unsure how to answer him simply because he'd asked to plainly and without emotion. Everyone who had ever asked her about Queen Shiera had expected hope, encouragement, promises she couldn't keep. So Akihana had resorted to half sentences, nods and phrases like "we're doing our best" and "today was only a little worse than yesterday." But out here on the brink of darkness with a man who seemed not to care either way... perhaps she could finally be completely honest, with him and herself.'

"Our Queen is dying," the words came out as though they'd been struggling to get free of her for an age now, emitted in a soft gasp of air that quickly mingled with the desert wind to echo silently all round. "This water is a desperate bid to save her, it might not even exist and yet we're all trying. Because we don't know what else to do." The blonde couldn't look up at him s she admitted this truth, not because she was afraid to see ridicule or judgement in his white and brown eyes, no, judgement she could take.

It would be the note of agreement in his steady gaze that would hurt her a lot more.

"I know we must seem silly," she tried, forcing herself to choke out a small bit of laughter to accompany the statement. "But it is what it is. We've raised incentives for finding the water, we've offered food, shelter, money, anything in exchange for this cure. But most of us don't care about the rewards, we just want our Queen to be healthy again." The monarch of Haven commanded more respect and loyalty then most Kage Akihana had known in her life and now, after almost a year in Her Majesty's service, the kunoichi could understand why. Sadly, she was too late.

"Our books say the water is anywhere between Haven to Taki, if it is real at all. And I suppose until the Queen draws her final breath, we will keep looking. So I suppose if you're still lost by that time, we might run into each other again some day." The kunoichi tried to inject her usual amount of cheer in the last sentence but someone it fell short, a gust of wind picking it up as the sun fully set,

"Oh look," she pointed out, right hand raised to the sky. "the first stars are coming out. our City is called Hoshigakure, named after the countless stars that come out at night. Some people believe the city is blessed by them each night."