Qualia (Den)

Fri Oct 18, 2019 6:27 am

The past month had been an adjustment for Akihana. Not just to the world at large but also to herself. Relearning simple tasks like following routines, interacting with people and practicing some vestige of self preservation hadn't been easy but once her hands and mind had found a reason to stay busy, her personality had returned shortly after. The flat she had been so conscious to first move around in had finally started resembling home as evidenced by the many potted plants that had appeared in the vicinity. the smell of cleaners and chemicals she had scourged the property with was long replaced by whatever she had taken to baking every day. Fresh laundry fluffed and folded was a common sight around the home now and the piles of ryo Maku left in the living room had all been stacked and put away properly. In addition to dedicating her salary from the restaurant downstairs towards her contribution to the apartment, Akihana had also devoted many hours a week at Den's makeshift clinic, working wage free of course.

It wasn't perfect, it certainly wasn't a long term solution, but Akihana found herself being grateful nonetheless. As she stayed awake through the nights, now having given up on sleep entirely, the golden eyed woman could only thank the stars that she had been given this momentary respite before she had to face the truth of why she was here. So far, the men had not asked her and she had not wanted to tell them. But the time to do so was drawing near.

And she didn't want it to.

If she had control over space and time like Maku did, she would probably make each unremarkable moment stand still, make every mundane minute last a lifetime and savoir the banality of it all. For as long as she could remember, all Akihana had wanted was the kind of peace and domesticity the three former ninja were playing at now. And it hurt beyond measure to know that non of it was real.

Maku, despite possessing the power to slow down and capture time, had grown restless lately, and of course he had not said so openly to the other occupants of the flat. His inability to focus, sit still or retain a single mood for more than a few minutes were just things the kunoichi had always been able to pick up about him. Not that it helped of course. A silent, tentative agreement seem to have been proposed between the two, one that brokered no such topics of conversation among them and one that still left Akihana with a faint sense of intimacy that insisted on insisting it wasn't real.

Which just left her and Den, two naturally quiet people who preferred to listen rather than talk. With the younger brother around, at least the silence was balanced by his random musings and sudden questions. Without him, Akihana and the blind doctor mostly existed in silence, a comfortable silence that always bordered on the lonely while they figured out how to be around each other and the pain they both carried. It wasn't that she thought Den wouldn't want to hear her out, the blonde was stopped by her own guilt of making Den a party to her own grief. And somehow, she felt Den might fear the same. So while they spent their evenings together drinking tea or coffee, poring over papers, mixing salves and pastes for their patients or preparing meals, most of those evenings were spent in silence.

And the silence grew more pronounced when Maku left.

He didn't really tell them where he was going or when he would be back. Akihana simply heard noises before daybreak. Not having slept anyway, she sat up straighter in bed wondering if she should go out and check on Maku and his couch. It took too long to decide however and by the time her soft footsteps reached the living room, there was nothing but a note left pinned to the couch. A note she had read and then placed on the breakfast table beside Den's plate. The kunoichi wasn't sure how but Den could still read perfectly fine without his sight. The two had finished breakfast as usual and then locked up to go to the clinic. Akihana was still very uncomfortable with the usage of her own chakra but she was slowly starting to be less nervous around medical ninjutsu, her natural affinity for the craft returning with every day that passed.

They returned later than usual, for once not eating dinner at home but stepping by at the restaurant downstairs where Sarah made them both a plate of the day's special. She was a very gifted chef, Akihana thought to herself as she pushed the flavored rice around on her plate with her fork. In her enthusiasm, the acting head chef had given them too much and Akihana had been too polite to refuse. Sarah also didn't know where her employer had gone to, but didn't seem overly concerned. It was his habit, the redhead clarified, to run off in search of new things. "He fancies himself some kind of ninja explorer," Sarah had laughed, pointing to all the Akatsuki paraphernalia decorating the eatery. "If he had the ability, I bet he's have been a ninja."

The two guests had nothing to say to that, retreating shortly after to their residence upstairs. A mutually spoken goodnight later, they were both in their room, Den probably getting ready to sleep and Akihana preparing to deal with another night full of her personal demons. It was a wonder what one could think up when they didn't sleep. And her thoughts always revolved around the ghosts of the past. Echo, Youka, Arashi... Arata...

No.

Getting out of bed, the kunoichi briskly walked to the bedroom door. If she stayed cooped up in here, she would give in to the memories once more, further weakening her resolve to continue, to carry out the final task she owed to this world to complete.

Out in the living room once more, she considered her options. She could curl up on the couch in Maku's blanket. It still slightly held his scent, creating the sense of comfort the real source never could. But no, trading one weakness for another was not her objective. She could go into the kitchen but that would feel too far away and waking up Den... was not an option. The last thing he needed was to lose sleep over her own.

Still, just because she couldn't wake him didn't mean she had to be all alone. Being even more careful than usual, the former medic made her way to Den's bedroom door, sinking slowly to the space beside it. The apartment wasn't cold but the slight shiver that ran down her spine was very real. Hugging her knees close to herself, Akihana took deep calming breaths sitting outside Denkiteki's doorway.

Trying to convince herself that she wasn't all alone.