Academy Days

Gun was usually the one to initiate contact with Kana, going in for hugs and whatnot. It wasn’t that Kana was opposed to it, at this point in their relationship, but it usually seemed to fall to Gun. It didn’t bother her, but this time was different. Kana wasn’t just initiating a friendly hug; the brief flash of Kana’s face that Gun saw as she was turned towards her friend told her that. Then Kana’s face was buried in her shoulder and the two’s arms wrapped around each other. Gun wasn’t sure if she had caused this reaction in Kana but she was glad to be able to hold her friend in this moment of despair. Gun couldn’t even imagine the terrible things that Kana was reliving because of the question she’d asked… and so nonchalantly at that. Feeling guilty for ruining their day and putting Kana through this torture, Gun began to cry. She wanted to be strong for her friend that needed a pillar of support at this moment, but she just couldn’t hold back her own tears. Then she heard Kana mutter into her shoulder "I'm not weak.... I won't freeze again...".

”I know… I know…” was all Gun could think to say. Her hand instinctively patted Kana’s back as they held each other. Not once did Gun ever think Kana was weak: becoming a shinobi proved Kana’s first statement true, surviving the things she had to get to where she was can’t be done by a weak person. She wasn’t sure of what specifically had happened in Kana’s past, but Gun knew she’d be there for everything that happened in Kana’s future and nothing like her past would ever happen again as long as Gun could prevent it. If you freeze, I will act, she thought to herself, still lightly crying because of a mixture of her own guilt and empathy. She felt like there was nothing else Gun could do or say, she could just be here at this moment with Kana.

WC: 337
TWC: 3968

Kana doesn't know how long she cried into Gunshin's shoulder. Her body was still shuddering with each shake breath as she tried to calm herself down. To remind herself that she was here and that it was over. She had killed the man, she had made sure he paid for what he did. Yet more memories spilt into her mind. The pain was overwhelming, she couldn't think, she didn't even realize what had happened beyond the fact she she could feel blood pouring from her face, into her mouth and down her throat, she had coughed out some of the blood but not all of it, she could taste the iron, she could feel the warm liquid spill from her face and onto her dress. But most importantly, she could still feel the blade in her cheek. And she could still see that drunk bastard being grabbed by some other man.

She didn't think. She didn't think as she ripped the blade from her mouth and slashed the man's exposed throat. She didn't think as the drunk gurgled and choked on his own blood. She didn't think as he got his own blood onto her dress in one final desperate attempt for a counter attack that the other man stopped. She didn't think as the other man stood before her, watching her as she stared at the dead drunk between them. She didn't think as he grabbed her and carried her off. By the time she could think, she was too tired, her head was dizzy and the pain in her face was intense. She sobbed into the man's chest, holding onto him for shelter as he rushed her off somewhere. She didn't even care where she was being taken to, she just wanted to be away from there.

"I killed him.... He's dead..." Kana whispered in a shaky breath, her head still buried in Gunshin's shoulder, squeezing her and holding her close. "Yet why am I so scared?" The quiet admission could barely be heard despite being so close to Gunshin's ear, her voice was so weak and fragile, a vulnerability she had only ever shown since that night nearly 3 months ago.

WC: 364
TWC: 8,361

"I killed him.... He's dead..." Kana whispered. Gun barely heard her voice despite being physically so close together. Gun had never killed a man and her brain instantly jumped to Is that why she seems so much tougher and has more tenacity than me?

"Yet why am I so scared?" Kana's question brought Gun's mind back to her current situation, and she hugged Kana a little tighter in response. She really didn't know what to say, but she tried really hard to come up with something. It had occurred to Gun that kunoichi killed people, but it hadn't really sunk in that she would have to kill someone at some point in her career. The thought wasn't pleasing but she also knew that Kana was helping her mentally get to a place to do that, part of Kana's teachings were to impart that ability to Gun. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to follow through when the time came, but she hoped that she would if it meant saving herself or Kana from harm.

"I don't know Kana," Gun began, though she had more she wanted to say "Maybe the fear you feel is because the situation was so scary." Gun couldn't imagine someone shoving a knife into her mouth and then pulling it through part of her face. "Getting revenge doesn't remove how scary the situation was." Gun pulled Kana in tighter one more time, before letting up a bit. She wasn't confident in this situation, she didn't know if what she'd said would help Kana or make her mad. She wasn't sure if what she'd said was even remotely accurate; Kana still hadn't really told her what had happened so Gun was just trying to imagine the situation as best she could. To meet someone evil enough to attack a young lady like that, it certainly wasn't something Gun wanted to happen ever again to anyone else.

WC: 320
TWC: 4288

Kana just held onto Gunshin, her body shaking as she drew in slow, deep, shuddering breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. She was safe, she was here, she wasn't that same weak little street rat, she was an academy student, she was learning to become stronger. She already was stronger and when she couldn't be strong enough, Gunshin would be there to help her. Gunshin would help. She was stronger. That stupid, shy girl was stronger. The memories of her old rage swirled within her mind, a distant feeling that no longer held any appeal. So what if Gunshin was stronger, Kana always knew that she was weaker than others, she had to learn how to improvise in other ways and strive for survival using her wits rather than her lacking strength. The words of comfort didn't truly matter to Kana other than the fact they were offered in the first place, it helped calm her down that Gunshin was here now. She didn't think she'd need Gunshin for protection, nor did she want to feel protected by the meek girl. But her presence gave her the strength she needed to calm herself down.

"I'm okay.... I'm okay..." Kana would speak softly, her breathing slowing and becoming deeper but far more calmer than before as she gently pushed herself off of the taller girl. Her silver eyes were still spilling the remnants of her tears, some slight redness in them before she brought a hand up to rub away the tears and soothe her eyes. "Thank you..." She'd say quietly as she fought back a small yawn, exhaustion hitting her like a wave now that she had gotten past her recollection of buried memories. She was tired, her muscles that ached with a decent burn from their earlier training yet her mind felt so sluggish. "And I'm sorry...." She muttered, not quite feeling like herself after her episode, she didn't expect the memories to hit her that hard or affect her as much, she had thought she had gotten used to it, she barely even had nightmares about it anymore, she thought she had moved on from that night. Yet not once did she ever have to tell anyone what had happened, some of the annoying brats taunted her about, making names for her like scar face but she knew better to let it affect her. She just didn't know how to deal with someone asking genuinely with a desire to know what happened, one that was born out of concern or worry or whatever stupid friendly reason Gunshin had. It caught her off guard.

"Some drunk missing nin caught me pickpocketing him.... He... He didn't like that." Kana begun to speak quietly, her eyes staring at her feet as she spoke, not wanting to look at Gunshin's reaction as she retold the story of her scar. "So he brought a kunai to my face. I don't know if he was just trying to scare me or if he was going to kill me." She kept herself going as she she brought her hands to wrap around each other, gently rubbing her arms as she kept her eyes glued to her feet. "Another person stopped him. A shinobi. So the drunk panicked and...." Kana allowed herself to trail off and brought a hand up to gesture toward her face, the scarred side of her face was facing toward Gunshin as she just kept her eyes at her feet, unable to look at the girl's reaction, the first real sign of insecurity about her scar that she had allowed anyone to see.

WC: 603
TWC: 8,964