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Raiden Ametsuchi
Raiden Ametsuchi
Jounin
Jounin
Stat Page : Raiden
Remove Remove Remove Weaponry Remove Remove Remove Sensory Space Time Default
Wind Remove Remove Lightning Fire Default
Clan Specialty : Space/Time
Village : Sunagakure
Ryo : 9250

Queen's Roar Empty Queen's Roar

Thu Sep 29, 2022 8:19 pm
Name:Queen's Roar
Element: Listed Below
Rank:A
Specialty:Buki
Particular Jutsu Type:-
Backstory:-

Appearance:Queen's Roar R.e0b66d3f33ed0366baab533c33410a9d?rik=18xpjxATOSSqIQ&riu=http%3a%2f%2f38.media.tumblr.com%2f7d283a6daf84b61eecd25978210c9722%2ftumblr_ncm0mc3z201tdmclgo3_400
Handseals:-
Duration: Explained Below
Cooldown: 3 posts
Range: 20 meters in all directions
Power: 50
Speed: 50
Health:-
Stat Boosts:-
What it does: The user slams the tip of their weapon into the ground, which creates a crater 20 meters in length in all directions, spreading out at speed of the technique. The user than pulses an element into the ground, with a different effect determined by the element. This technique will not effect the user.

Fire- Expanding out to Maximum Range, Dissipating once max range is reached. During the period of time it travels outwards if struck by this technique the fire sticks around on the user and their equipment, Causing a continual Damage, following the rules for DOT.

Lightning- Lightning pulses through the ground in all directions. For every post the sword is in the ground, the range of this technique is covered in a stunning field, With a Stat check vs Strength. In This manner, the field has a trap set of a stun if entered into the area before the jutsu goes on cooldown. the stun only happens once per person.

Wind- Gusts of air raise up out of the cracks made in the ground. Any projectiles like Arrows, Kunai, shuriken ect, with an impact force less than the power of this technique are knocked away into the air to fall down harmlessly. This also allows the user of this technique to narrow the field down and aim up into the air, to hit any opponents that may be flying. This Pillar of air is 10 meters around and 20 meters in height.

Earth- When the earth cracks, the earth is split into 5, 4 meter squares which raise up into a wall in all directions around the user. The health of the walls being equal to the power of this technique. If someone is in the area when activated (other than user) they are flipped backwards from the direction they were heading from (follow Formula for throwing to determine range person is thrown backwards, Power of technique is Strength, Speed of Technique for Speed)

Water- Water is pulled from under the ground, This is generally combined with a Lightning technique (to which the user is immune) Extending the range and increasing the power/speed of this technique. Range, Power and Speed are Averaged between the two techniques, with the Range increasing 10 meters, and power and speed getting an Increase of 40. (the other Techniques AP is still paid for as well, and any handsigns that needs to be weaved must be as well  unless the lightning technique in question is mastered for handsealless). Only works on Techniques A-rank and below (for the bolstering effect, clashing still happens against S-rank Techniques) and counts as a Amplifier.

Technique can only be used with  Blade of the Elemental Queen

Character Specific:-
Wordcount to learn: 2500
Action Cost: 40
Mastery: N
Bonus Requirements: Ametsuchi Branch, Blade of the Elemental Queen, Chakra Infusion
Canon, Custom, Bloodline, or Village Exclusive: Ametsuchi/Hoshimura


Last edited by Raiden Ametsuchi on Wed Nov 02, 2022 11:09 am; edited 2 times in total
Enishi
Enishi
Nova
Nova
Stat Page : The Wraith
Remove Remove Weaponry Fuuinjutsu Ninjutsu Remove Default
Remove Earth Water Lightning Remove Default
Clan Specialty : Ninjutsu
Village : Hoshigakure
Ryo : 54500

Queen's Roar Empty Re: Queen's Roar

Sun Oct 09, 2022 2:07 pm
Alright, let's get it.

"Duration: 3 posts"
-Okay, you want this to be a rupturing AoE of force that expands from the user; the duration has to be "Until Maximum Distance is Reached", you can't have a multi-post AoE with a 20m radius unfortunately. So please change the duration to that.

"Cooldown: Posts used +2"
-3 Posts.

" The user slams the tip of their weapon into the ground, which creates a crater 40 meters in length, spreading out at speed of the technique."
-I think you meant diameter, anyway just change it to 20m in all directions to stay consistent.

"Fire- Turns the ground into a field of DoT (Scaling for technique and any power increase is only to power vs other jutsu). The single portion of 40 meter ground in total, 20 meters in all directions from the point of impact, will continue for these 3 posts even if the sword is removed from the ground."
-Once again, state that the field of DoT lasts until maximum range is reached and the field will dissipate instantly once it reaches said distance even if the sword is removed from the ground.

"Lightning- Lightning pulses through the ground in all directions. For every post the sword is in the ground, the range of this technique is covered in a stunning field, With a Stat check vs Strength. In this manner, a stun may happen more then one post, but counts as if being applied anew each post, only the Damage is not repeated."
-Same as before, make sure to change the wording of ranges. And no, we won't accept the reapplication of effects multiple times in the same post. If someone is paralyzed, you'll have to wait until the paralyzation is done to reapply it. Additionally, you didn't state how long the paralyzation lasts if you come in contact with the field. 2 Posts is fine.

"Wind- Gusts of air raise up out of the cracks made in the ground. Any projectiles like Arrows, Kunai, shuriken ect, with an impact force less than the power of this technique are knocked away into the air to fall down harmlessly. This also allows the user of this technique to narrow the field down and aim up into the air, to hit any opponents that may be flying. This Pillar of air is 5 meters around and 35 meters in height."
-Lower the height of the cylinder to 25m, feel like that's more acceptable for an A rank.

"Earth- When the earth cracks, the earth is split into 5, 4 meter squares which raise up into a wall in all directions around the user. The health of the walls being equal to the power of this technique. If someone is in the area when activated (other than user) they are flipped backwards from the direction they were heading from (follow Formula for throwing to determine range person is thrown backwards, Power of technique is Strength, Speed of Technique for Speed)"
-Sure, pretty unique effect.

"Water- Water is pulled from under the ground, This is generally combined with a Lightning technique (to which the user is immune) Extending the range and increasing the power/speed of this technique. Range, Power and Speed are Averaged between the two techniques, with the Range increasing 10 meters, and power and speed getting an Increase of 40. (the other Techniques AP is still paid for as well, and any handsigns that needs to be weaved must be as well unless the lightning technique in question is mastered for handsealless)"
-State that this functions as an amplifier for that Lightning Release technique as that cannot be amplified in any other way. Also, state that this can only work on Lightning Release techniques of A-rank and below.

And that's it. Please make the requested edits.
Raiden Ametsuchi
Raiden Ametsuchi
Jounin
Jounin
Stat Page : Raiden
Remove Remove Remove Weaponry Remove Remove Remove Sensory Space Time Default
Wind Remove Remove Lightning Fire Default
Clan Specialty : Space/Time
Village : Sunagakure
Ryo : 9250

Queen's Roar Empty Re: Queen's Roar

Sun Oct 09, 2022 2:32 pm
Enishi wrote:Alright, let's get it.

"Duration: 3 posts"
-Okay, you want this to be a rupturing AoE of force that expands from the user; the duration has to be "Until Maximum Distance is Reached", you can't have a multi-post AoE with a 20m radius unfortunately. So please change the duration to that.
-> This was meant to be for various effects of the technique and stuff, but okay

Enishi wrote:"Cooldown: Posts used +2"
-3 Posts.
-> This was in accordance to A-rank rules for techniques

Enishi wrote:" The user slams the tip of their weapon into the ground, which creates a crater 40 meters in length, spreading out at speed of the technique."
-I think you meant diameter, anyway just change it to 20m in all directions to stay consistent.
-> Fair

Enishi wrote:"Fire- Turns the ground into a field of DoT (Scaling for technique and any power increase is only to power vs other jutsu). The single portion of 40 meter ground in total, 20 meters in all directions from the point of impact, will continue for these 3 posts even if the sword is removed from the ground."
-Once again, state that the field of DoT lasts until maximum range is reached and the field will dissipate instantly once it reaches said distance even if the sword is removed from the ground.
-> This alters the damage and stuff to be in accordance to DoT rules, why would it than go under Rules of until Range is reached ? The DOT is meant to be for while they are still within the field, not affect them even after they leave

Enishi wrote:"Lightning- Lightning pulses through the ground in all directions. For every post the sword is in the ground, the range of this technique is covered in a stunning field, With a Stat check vs Strength. In this manner, a stun may happen more then one post, but counts as if being applied anew each post, only the Damage is not repeated."
-Same as before, make sure to change the wording of ranges. And no, we won't accept the reapplication of effects multiple times in the same post. If someone is paralyzed, you'll have to wait until the paralyzation is done to reapply it. Additionally, you didn't state how long the paralyzation lasts if you come in contact with the field. 2 Posts is fine.
-> I think you misunderstood the wording of this, it does not apply the Paralyzation effect multiple times in 1 post, Its Per post it applies it, With a window of Oppertunity between each pulsing (posting) to clear out the Stun/stat check.

Enishi wrote:"Wind- Gusts of air raise up out of the cracks made in the ground. Any projectiles like Arrows, Kunai, shuriken ect, with an impact force less than the power of this technique are knocked away into the air to fall down harmlessly. This also allows the user of this technique to narrow the field down and aim up into the air, to hit any opponents that may be flying. This Pillar of air is 5 meters around and 35 meters in height."
-Lower the height of the cylinder to 25m, feel like that's more acceptable for an A rank.
-> according to A-rank Range Rules, I have 40 meters to work with techniques and such, I took 5 meters for length or Diameter, And 35 meters in Height, I personally see no issue with this

Enishi wrote:"Water- Water is pulled from under the ground, This is generally combined with a Lightning technique (to which the user is immune) Extending the range and increasing the power/speed of this technique. Range, Power and Speed are Averaged between the two techniques, with the Range increasing 10 meters, and power and speed getting an Increase of 40. (the other Techniques AP is still paid for as well, and any handsigns that needs to be weaved must be as well  unless the lightning technique in question is mastered for handsealless)"
-State that this functions as an amplifier for that Lightning Release technique as that cannot be amplified in any other way. Also, state that this can only work on Lightning Release techniques of A-rank and below.
-> This follows the wording to the T of Cooperative Jutus, which when used in this conjecture is what it becomes, and as such should not affect Amplifers affecting either technique
Hiroki Shimada
Hiroki Shimada
Chunin
Chunin
Stat Page : Link
Remove Medical Fuuinjutsu Ninjutsu Default
Water Lightning Default
Clan Specialty : N/A
Village : Kumogakure
Ryo : 820

Queen's Roar Empty Re: Queen's Roar

Tue Oct 25, 2022 10:33 am
I pretty much agree with Eni's feedbacks, and will need to see those edits made into this tech before I can trial approve it.

Not gonna get into too much detail, because I feel as if Eni's was all sound and fine, but like one of the smaller things I noticed; DoTs specifically are meant to be a damage over time, regardless of whether or not someone is within an area of effect. Plus due to the previous issue on the range of this technique, there is no continuous field happening.

If you have any questions in regards to the bigger stuff, message me on discord please and thank you.
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